(From a Game Designer)
Like lots of people, I spent a good deal of my quarantine playing board games. Both casually and working as a designer on our game Factions of Sol, I spent endless hours with family and on TableTop Simulator. However, I encountered a significant problem early on–I am bad at board games. Like legitimately bad, for no reason. Not that I’m (necessarily) dumb or don’t understand the game, because even when I LITERALLY DESIGNED THE GAME WE’RE PLAYING, I never seem to win.
So, in lieu of being able to win games like a normal person, I turned to what was clearly the next best, most ethical option—Cheating! Cheating takes a regular game night and turns it into your own ~fun~ little thrill. I like to think I’ve gotten pretty good at it, so I wanted to share my top 4 tips for cheating at board games.
4. Sleight of Hand
Pros: You feel like you’re in Skyrim / a James Bond movie
Cons: Everyone saw you
I think sleight of hand is the most boring way to cheat. It’s hard to pull off, takes physical skills (which most of us don’t have), and isn’t nearly as cool as you want it to be. Yeah so what, you got more wheat in Catan while your mom was wine-drunk…everyone else at the table still saw you take 8 cards. And now you have to talk about your “problem.” 3.5/10
3. Playing Dumb
Pros: Very believable, easy to pull off
Cons: Hurts that no one questioned it
Ol’ reliable. All you’ve gotta do is “accidentally” put too many troops on the board or “forget” to spend your resources for the third time in a row, and just like that BAM! You’ve got the advantage! In my experience this trick might start working too well, however, in which case just get ready for a big ol’ drop in self-esteem (unless it’s already rock bottom 😉 ) for when your baby brother says that “My stuffed tiger is smarter than you.” 6/10
2. Bullying
Pros: VERY effective
Cons: A lot of Discord servers won’t let you back in
Another very solid choice at the gaming table. Since this trick can go so many different ways, I’d recommend focusing on intimidation, blackmail, and cyberbullying. Nothing takes the wind out of someone’s sails mid-game like the table getting flipped on to you, or finding a bunch of incredibly mean photoshops of yourself on twitter. While this one does work great, be prepared for some hard feelings after the game. Some people just don’t get that it’s part of the fun. 8.5/10
1. Gaslighting
Pros: No one catches you
Cons: None
Nothing can beat gaslighting. This skill has worked SO well for me, I started using it in other areas of my life & I’ve never been better. All you’ve gotta do is hit ‘em with a “I never said that! You never listen!!!” or a “You’re the only person who believes that.” They’ll internalize the blame, carry it around for the rest of their lives, and you’re golden! Use this fun trick to change who’s in the lead, rewrite rules, make people doubt their sanity. 10/10
Have you used these tools? What other great cheating tips have you discovered? Let us know!