OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT OF THE 23rd INTERPLANETARY COUNCIL ON THE 31st DAY IN THE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER IN THE YEAR OF SOL 1954:
COUNCIL THRONEMAN – Huxley L. Piaget
Transcript Begin
THMN. Piaget: I hereby call this Council into session. May Sol shine brightly on this honorable assembly.
UNISON: May Sol shine forevermore.
THMN. Piaget: You may be seated. Before today’s proceedings, I would like to remind the people of Sol that this portion of today’s assembly is sponsored by VitaPlus. Cosmic radiation getting you down? While cancer rates have skyrocketed within the past 30 years, MegaCore has been working on a solution to end that pesky problem. With VitaPlus, one single ingestible tablet will deposit tens of thousands of nanobots into your bloodstream, scanning your every cell. In case cancer is detected, all cells will be instantly incinerated and a new body will be on-site in less than 2 hours. Never worry again with VitaPlus.
UNISON: Now only $399 plus shipping and handling.
THMN Piaget: I would also like to acknowledge the absence of our Neptunian representative Councilman Thrun. On his way here, he suffered a malfunction that caused his body to spontaneously combust. I have been informed that his new body will be on-site in less than 2 hours, so I make a motion to push the discussion of the nuclear meltdowns on Neptune’s southern pole that could destabilize the planet for the foreseeable future to after our coffee break.
CLMN Graxley of Jupiter: Seconded.
CLMN Juniper of Eros: Thirded.
THMN Piaget: Moving on. Our first standing order of business. MegaCore Inc. would like to purchase the council in its entirety for $1,645,000. I motion to push this to next council meeting.
CLMN Halbert of Mars: Seconded.
CLMN Graxley of Jupiter & CLMN Freeman of Mercury: Thirded. Oh sorry do you want to… Fourthed.
THMN Piaget: Passes. Secretary Yunwei, please add that to the docket for tomorrow’s meeting. Final order of business before first Attention Span Break sponsored by MegaCore Inc., Councilman Juniper you have an announcement about Eros’ imminent collision with Mars?
CLMN Juniper: Yes Throneman. The extended mining operations on Eros have unfortunately perturbed its orbit. Current estimations have shown an impending collision with Mars in 13 days. My constituents have expressed their concern about this issue and I would like to bring it forth for discussion.
THMN Piaget: Discussion may proceed.
CLMN Juniper: Thank you Throneman. I would like to express my disappointment on behalf of my constituents with Mars and their lack of response to this issue.
CLMN Gutha of Mars: Your disappointment has been noted, Councilman Juniper. However, I have little power to move a large asteroid on such short notice. In the future, please bring this to my attention at least 6 weeks in advance. For now I move that we ask MegaCore nicely to move the collision path.
CLMN Juniper: Seconded.
THMN Piaget: Thirded and passed. Alright, good work everyone. We will meet back in half an hour before our second Attention Span Break sponsored by MegaCore Inc. “Take a break once in a while!” All rise. You are adjourned.
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