The Galactic Union of Quantum Tunnelers’ demands, presented on the 5th day of system wide strikes.
We, as the union of working class citizens, hereby list our demands for our employer: MegaCore Inc. With our newfound power to tunnel through the fabric of spacetime itself, we will remain on strike until these demands are met. If they are not agreed to in the next three days, we will destroy all advancements in said tunneling technology. Although Sol is large, we are many, and our network of sympathizers is vast. You have three days.
1. We demand the right to names.
While we recognize the efficiency of numbers as a method to identify each of us in large databases, we demand the right to name our children. They don’t have to be too complex, we would settle for just a letter even. Just some way to refer to each other without having to say ‘Two five four nine six six seven four two, pass me that wrench’.
2. We demand the right to a 25 year life expectancy.
Right now, the average tunneler lives to 21.3 years before getting sucked into the cold vacuum of space. While some of us live up to 40, maybe 45, we realize that is unreasonable to ask. But giving us some sense of life security would increase all of our productivity. We would also like to stress that this doesn’t mean everyone must live to 25, just on average will suffice.
3. We demand the retirement age be lowered to 65
This is really more of a symbolic gesture. Most of us simply feel bad for Glennn. He’s had a rough life, and it’s unlikely that he makes it to 80 as is.
We hope that MegaCore Inc. will see reason in these trying times, and that we can return to work by the end of the week.
Sincerely,
The Galactic Union of Quantum Tunnelers
Mark MegaCore’s Response to The Galactic Union of Quantum Tunnelers.
That’s fine, we’ve got robots.
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